Oct 5

Top 10 Resume Blurbs

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In the spirit of the JETAA NY Career Forum (held yesterday at the Nippon Club), I thought it might be appropriate to post a topical Top 10 List from the Fall 2002 JETAA NY Newsletter.  (Thanks to Clara Solomon for using it as a hand-out for her presentation on resumes, which reminded me of the existence of this list.)

Fall 2002 – “LET’S HAPPY JOB SEARCH” ISSUE

Top 10 JET Resume Descriptions:  What They Say…… And What They Really Mean

#10

  • Says:  Functioned as liason for city relations and internationalization efforts.
  • Means:  Got hammered with city employees and guests while singing numerous renditions of “Love Me Tender.”

#9

  • Says:  Developed and designed lesson semester lesson plans for 6 junior high schools.
  • Means:  Played bingo and/or hangman 6 periods per day for six straight months.

#8

  • Says:  Responsible for all municipal international correspondence and communications.
  • Means:  Wrote the letter to the replacement JET before going home.

#7

  • Says:  Translated and edited board of education documents.
  • Means:  Changed all the r’s to l’s and l’s to r’s.

#6

  • Says:  Served as international representative for official and civic activities.
  • Means:  Stumbled around the o-bon dance circle after consum- ing significant amounts of alcohol.

#5

  • Says:  Created and designed promotional guide materials for international visitors.
  • Means:  Came up with fictional names for the hodge-podge of nameless streets in my inaka town that no tourist will ever set foot in.

#4

  • Says:  Initiated city-wide language study and cultural exchange program for 12 public pre-schools.
  • Means:  Had to dress up and play Santa at all of the local yochiens.

#3

  • Says:  Developed and taught seminar on cross-cultural teaching and communication at national JET conference for over 500 JET teachers.
  • Means:  Taught foreign English teachers how to play bingo and/or hangman.  Then got ripped, down and over for three days at taxpayers’ expense.

#2

  • Says: Organized and led 13 events for junior high school sports’ festival involving over 400 students.
  • Means:  Did the NHK radio exercises and then outsprinted twenty 12-year olds.

#1

  • Says:  Conducted presentations addressing International Relations.
  • Means–  Showed a group of adults in your town pictures of your family.

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