{"id":11053,"date":"2010-03-10T23:47:49","date_gmt":"2010-03-11T03:47:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jetwit.com\/wordpress\/?p=11053"},"modified":"2010-03-10T23:47:49","modified_gmt":"2010-03-11T03:47:49","slug":"ask-dr-muse-are-you-tolerating-shoulds-in-your-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jetwit.com\/wordpress\/2010\/03\/10\/ask-dr-muse-are-you-tolerating-shoulds-in-your-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Ask Dr. Muse-Are You Tolerating “Shoulds” In Your Life?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"nicolelogo\"<\/a>Many JETs and JET alumni find themselves at a crossroads regarding their careers and career options.\u00a0 Nicole D. Mignone (Akita-ken, 1991-1993)<\/strong>, a certified life coach, <\/strong>will be periodically posting articles for the benefit of the JET Community. You can read more of her life-related articles at her blog thealchemyofbalance.blogspot.com<\/a>.\u00a0 She also offers individual life and business coaching. For more information, email Nicole at drmuse@jetwit.com<\/a><\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n

Dear Dr. Muse<\/span><\/strong>:<\/p>\n

I feel conflicted about what I should do about my job and what the right career option is.\u00a0 <\/em>J.D. in D.C.<\/p>\n

Dear J.D.:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0
\nThe word “should” always signals to me that some inner dialogue may be preventing you from doing or determining what you really want. The following exercise assists you with figuring out what you are tolerating in your life, why, and how to eliminate some situations that may be draining you. This may give you some free time to spend on more peaceful projects.
\n\u00a0
\nDay 1<\/span>: Schedule about 15 distraction-free minutes with a pen and some paper.\u00a0 Take a few pieces of paper and fold them in half.\u00a0<\/p>\n

a\/\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 On top of the lefthand colum of one piece of paper, write: I Should….
\nThen, set a timer for 5 minutes, and then write every and any thought that pops into your head answering that question.\u00a0 Do not think into the answer, just write the thought.
\n\u00a0
\nb\/\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 On another piece of paper, on the top of the lefthand column write: I want…
\nThen, set a timer for 5 minutes, and then write every and any thought that pops into your head answering that question.\u00a0 Do not think into the answer, just write the thought.<\/p>\n

c\/\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Now, repeat this exercise on another sheet of paper and write on the top of the lefthand column: I am Tolerating…..
\n\u00a0
\n\u00a0Set these pages aside for another day to analyze.<\/p>\n

Day 2<\/span>\u00a0: The next part of this exercise will take some time to analyze your lists.\u00a0 For the “shoulds” list, over the next few weeks, you are going to evaluate three at a time on this list.\u00a0 Take some time to answer the following questions for each should:
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0
\n*why is this a should?
\n*who says I should do this?
\n*what would happen if I did not do it?
\n*who would I be without this should on my list?
\n*what would I rather do instead?
\nOn a blank piece of paper write out three restatements for your “Shoulds” that assert what you would rather have.\u00a0 For example, rather than ‘I should be a lawyer,’ you may decide to write, ‘I prefer work where I am creative,” or “I am an opera singer.”\u00a0 Write something that affirms what you want.
\n\u00a0
\nAs for toleartions, do the same thing. Pick three on your list each week and ask yourself why you are tolerating this and what would your life look like if you did not tolerate it anymore.\u00a0 Then, on a separate piece of paper, rewrite the toleration to be something you do want.
\n\u00a0
\nFinally, the “I want” column is for you to keep in your journal or bookmark.\u00a0 Every few months, refer to this list to assess whether your wants have changed, or to inspire you on a course of action to take to get you closer to what you want.\u00a0 What you think you want today and what you start to create later may surprise you!
\n\u00a0
\nAs you can see from these columns, career choices overlap with other areas of our life.\u00a0 By paying attention to our thoughts and our present life even outside of work, we can aseemble the bigger puzzle pieces of our life into a picture we enjoy.<\/p>\n

Like hiring a personal trainer to reach your fitness goals, a personal life coach can assist you to attain your personal goals. \u00a0You may write the Muse with any coaching questions, or inquiries into life coaching options on a one-time or ongoing basis at drmuse@jetwit.com<\/a><\/strong>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many JETs and JET alumni find themselves at a crossroads regarding their careers and career options.\u00a0 Nicole D. Mignone (Akita-ken, 1991-1993), a certified life coach, will be periodically posting articles for the benefit of the JET Community. You can read more of her life-related articles at her blog thealchemyofbalance.blogspot.com.\u00a0 She also offers individual life and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":45,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11053","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pkZ7m-2Sh","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jetwit.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11053","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jetwit.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jetwit.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jetwit.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/45"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jetwit.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11053"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/jetwit.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11053\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11056,"href":"https:\/\/jetwit.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11053\/revisions\/11056"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jetwit.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11053"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jetwit.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11053"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jetwit.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11053"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}