【RocketNews24】Japanese student’s English homework captures futility of life
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Posted by Michelle Lynn Dinh (Shimane-ken, Chibu-mura, 2010–13), editor and writer for RocketNews24. The following article was written by Clara Clegg, a writer and translator for RocketNews24, a Japan-based site dedicated to bringing fun and quirky news from Asia to English speaking audiences.
I’ve marked my fair share of English exam papers here in Japan, and there have been a few gems of hilarity in amongst the spelling mistakes and butchered grammar, but nothing that measures up to this beauty. One student’s answer to a simple question was so deep and existential, it read like poetry.
An English teacher in Japan asked their students to answer the question “What would you do if you were shipwrecked on an island?”, and received one particular answer that stood out in terms of content. As with anything of even vague interest, it was immediately posted to Reddit, the self-declared front page of the internet.
It all seems fairly normal, if a bit awkward with the student clearly trying to show off their knowledge of conjunctions, until you get to the end. Then things take a distinctly morbid turn. In the comments, the student has been branded everything from a realist to a nihilist to a genius.
We will enjoy swimming, because it’s fun to swim.
We will do my homework, because it’s fun to do homework..
We will play soccer, because it’s fun to play soccer.
We will wait for death, because can’t do anything.
Well, if that doesn’t just put a chill in your bones. Either this kid is a tortured artist, or s/he randomly chose some words and phrases from the dictionary without actually comprehending their meaning. Whichever it is, they actually have a great grasp of grammar for a junior high school student (trust me, sometimes you’re lucky the words are even the right way round on the page), so they get an A for that, plus a gold star for entertaining the Internet.
And because Redditors are a creative bunch, you can now enjoy this work of art in a beautiful calligraphy more fitting to its enlightened content.
Source: LabQ, Reddit
Images: Reddit, Wikimedia Commons
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