Sorry I missed ya on Japan Day! I think you arrived just as the event was finishing up and the rain started. But thank you for reading and your comment, I am happy to hear a male JET’s perspective on this issue.

I can say for a fact that it is really discouraging how much generalization is made of the JET population. However, for every generalization there is a hint of truth.

Knowing anything about culture (manga and anime being the two biggies) is always an attention-getting ploy and way to build relationships, in and outside of Japan. In Japan, you have tons of common ground (and nowadays, in America too–anime is no longer exotic) however, I would be hesitant to say less judgment.

You know the table I’m talking about. I was sitting at it and let me tell you, wearing a tux and talking Dragon Ball is as awkward as it sounds.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHA! This slays me!

You bring up a very good point about who does the legwork in a date. In Japan, it seemed like the males were often pursued by females which goes even against nature! Alpha males in the wild constantly duke it out for territory and who gets the slampiece but in Japan, I observed women competing over who had the longest eyelashes and best-functioning curling iron to gain the attentions of the one lone guy in the Prefecture.

But this is blatant humorous generalization. It can go both ways.

Like I mentioned before, there were always more females in the dating bracket available for dating than guys and this, too, had cultural implications. In addition, one must consider that an exotic (foreign) female may not be desirable for a male population bred on dominance and being in control. We’re more hassle than we’re worth. Any woman (Japanese or non) with more skill/experience may be viewed as a threat rather than an asset. Let us not forget Japan is still a largely male-dominated country and this holds ESPECIALLY true for the inaka. Women’s lib, from what I’ve seen, has not made as huge strides.

So reasons for the female run-around in Japan, may not exactly be the same as the male run-around in America.

I agree with you in that I feel all JETS, male or female, and regardless of intention do harbor some degree of adventure-seeking. Or at least a willingness to participate in something unfamiliar. This works for and against us. I think the girls whose computers you’d fixed might not have lasted a day on JET.

What matters to me–beyond intention, the where, why and hows for getting laid in Japan–is the presentation. How do you come off? How much of this is genuine and honest? Are you prepared for the consequences of such? I have known female JETS who made it their mission to screw anything that moved, who basked in and got off on the attentions of gawking salarymen, whose egos purely disgusted me when they complained about not being able to find a date yet were the object of every pathetic male fantasy. I can see that situation for what it is. How well you do on JET (and how happy you leave it) depends a lot on how well you know yourself at the end of the road.

Some ALTs haven’t even revved up the engine yet.

Coffee?

It must be something of a shock to watch how some Japanese may treat a non-Asian JET as opposed to a JET they assume is Japanese man incognito. I mean, I know I was definitely handed preferential treatment in some cases simply because I was a card-carrying whitey and therefore deemed an exotic. So I wonder how relationships with people in your town was affected by your being Asian American.

I’ve heard some Asians living in Japan tell me that if you don’t look Japanese and don’t act “Japanese”, then it is perfectly acceptable. However, if you look Japanese and don’t ACT Japanese, people can be really cold. Your genuine interest in Japanese culture may have not only acted as a positive re-enforcement for you both but as a reminder that you were most definitely NOT Japanese and therefore deserved some consideration in that respect.

Kudos to ya, thank you for sharing!

And that is a kickass song btw! If you don’t take it as a taunt, I’d love to hear someone actually record it!

I have to admit though, coming from a culture where it’s usually the guy running around in circles and doing a lot of the leg work for a date, it was a nice change to have it a little easier. Also since we are being honest, it was in an evil little way funny to watch girls complain about not getting play. It’s like they finally got a taste of what it was like.

But again, to be fair, most female JETs aren’t the kind of girls I’d wish that upon. If I was going to sexile (sex + exile) someone it would be the self-involved drama queens, the ones who got by only on their looks, the girls in college who’s computers I’d fixed but never wanted to go on a date afterward. Those are the ones who could use that culture shock. JET girls tend to be open minded, interesting to talk to and down for adventure. So hearing that they were having problems always saddened me a bit because they were the ones that always seemed worth the time.

Anyways, here’s hoping that the current recession leads more Japanese men away from wallet draining, Gucci bag obsessed locals and on to tongue pierced, open-minded exotics.

Thanks again for writing. You can be sure I’m pimping this on the JetWit.com Facebook update.

-R

I knew someone who was a third or fourth generation resident of Korean descent whose family had to change the name to a Japanese one to get Japanese passports.

For my part as long as I showed an interest in Japanese things, people were pretty cool. But it was funny watching the Japanese react to people differently — as long as I kept my mouth shut most would assume I was also Japanese, though an unusually large one, and I would sometimes just watch people as an… exercise in homebrewed anthropology, I suppose.

The amusing part was that I was nicknamed “Secret Asian Man” by some fellow JETs for doing this. Had my own theme song and everything:

There’s a man who leads a life of danger
To everyone he meets he stays a stranger
With every move he makes another chance he takes
Odds are he won’t be in Japan by next year

Secret Asian man, secret Asian man
They’ve given you a contract and taken away your name

Beware of pretty faces that you find
A pretty face can hide a bigot’s mind
Ah, be careful what you say
Or you’ll give yourself away
Odds are you won’t be in Japan by next year

Secret Asian man, secret Asian man
They’ve given you a contract and taken away your name

Thank you for reading! Where does Aso live? If you care to, maybe you’d like to tell us more about your experience? I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you, but I bet you’ve got some stories. I’d encourage you to go into detail, maybe even a short post if you feel you’d like to share your negative as well as positive experience of being an Asian American JET.

I remember getting the JET Guidebook and reading a section about life in Japan for varied categories of humans such as married couples, women with children, East Indian or Islamic, African-American, Asian American, etc. (note the absence of gay/bisexual) Understandbly, these accounts focused on the good points and only briefly touched upon any real negative experiences or impacts on that individual. They urged the non-Caucasian JET to foster patience and understanding and remember they are “cultural ambassadors”, whose very presence informs the local populace…

…informs them of what exactly?

Being a single chick was only one gripe in a book of many. As much as I loved my experience on JET and Japan, I do sympathise with and can rationalize a little bit better the complaints of some of my fellow JETS. Much as I hope all JETS leave Japan with a warm fuzzy sense of homesickness, I can understand why some leave with the exact opposite.